Reflecting

I can't believe we are one day away from Reagan's arrival. This has been the day marked on the calendar for months now. This is the day we have been planning for and looking forward to. And now that it's almost here, I can't believe it.

I laid on the couch this morning feeling her move around and I thought, wow, this time tomorrow she will be in my arms, not in my belly anymore. It's so hard to believe. I am so excited to meet her, and see who she looks like and if she has as much hair as Carter did, and how big she is (she feels like she's 9lbs).

But a part of me is also sad. Sad that I won't have her all to myself anymore, that I have to share her. Sad for Carter that he won't have us all to himself anymore. And sad that this could quite possibly be the last time I am pregnant.

We had a long road getting pregnant this time, and we decided that we want a third, but only if God is willing to give one to us. We won't be going the extra mile with doctors and testing and such this time around. I might never carry a baby inside of me again, and that makes me really sad and wish I had really taken more time to enjoy this pregnancy.

We check in tomorrow morning at 6am, surgery scheduled for 8am. I am ready physically and hopefully by tomorrow, emotionally too